


Second Act

by wannaliveindeansdimples



Series: Zapped!Verse [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, Destiel - Freeform, Fluff and Angst, Fluffy, M/M, Twisted and Fluffy Feelings
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-01-17
Updated: 2014-01-17
Packaged: 2018-01-09 01:51:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,722
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1140034
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wannaliveindeansdimples/pseuds/wannaliveindeansdimples
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"You didn’t think you deserved to be saved then and you don’t think you deserve to be loved now.”</p><p>Dean can't say the words, but Cas can.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Second Act

When Dean got outside the apartment, the first thing he did was take a deep breath. The very next thing he tried to do was pray to Cas. He had no idea if the angel could hear him from a different universe, but he sure as hell hoped so. He couldn’t stick around here. For a lot of reasons, not least of which being he’d just stuck his tongue in Misha’s mouth.

His prayer was short and simple. “Cas, please come get me.”

Now that he was out of the immediacy of the weird situation - not just appearing in Misha’s living room out of nowhere but being asked to kiss the man when he looked and sounded like his best friend - he had time to wonder about certain things. Specifically, he wondered just why the hell Cas had zapped him. They hadn’t even been hunting anything when Cas showed up. And why the hell he had zapped him here of all places? Why had he chosen this freaky universe where not only were their lives a tv show, but one where their character counterparts were…

Well. They were about to be together.

That was a strange coincidence. When Balthazar had zapped he and Sam, the angel had known where he was sending them. He had done it on purpose just to be a dick. Surely Cas hadn’t known though...right?

He kept walking, down the stairs and out the front of the building, still waiting for some kind of response. When he was a block from the building and hidden from sight in an alley, he tried again.

“Cas, please, man. If you can hear me...either zap me back or just...I don’t know, come to where I am. All right? I need…” he let the unspoken “you” die on his lips. Instead of that, he said, “I need to know what’s going on.”

He started to turn back toward the street, wanting to put more distance between himself and Misha’s building. The next thing he knew, he was sitting in the backseat of the Impala and it was parked in the middle of a field. He jumped when he saw Cas was next to him. He hadn’t been prepared for another person. He hadn’t been prepared for anything that had happened today, though, so what the hell?

He wanted to ask the angel all the questions he’d had in his mind since Misha had said they were in love. He wanted to know why Cas had sent him away and why he’d chosen to send him to Misha’s living room. He wanted to know if Misha and Jensen were right. If what tv show Cas had said to him was true. If what Dean had felt himself wanting to respond was true. Instead all that came out was, “Heya, Cas.”

“Hello, Dean. I’m sorry for your abrupt departure. I know you don’t like traveling like that even under the best of circumstances. I assure you that it was necessary or I would not have done it.”

“Uh, yeah, Cas, I know. It’s ok. Um, the thing is, I still don’t know why you thought it was necessary. Or, you know, why...well, first tell me what the hell’s going on, I guess.”

“There were rogue angels who found out your location. I had to get you away until I could find out how they had tracked you. I was able to dispatch them once I found out, but I wasn’t finished when you prayed. That’s why it took me a little more time to get to you.”

“Ok, so, they’re gone? I’m safe?”

“Yes, as far as I know.”

“Then what’s with the, uh…” Dean gestured to the field outside the car with his hand.

Cas suddenly had trouble looking him in the eye. “You started to ask me another question earlier. What was it? You got as far as “why”,” Cas added helpfully.

“Uh, yeah, ok. Nice subject change, but ok. I wanna know why you picked that universe. Why you zapped me into Misha’s living room. You do know who Misha is, right?”

Cas made eye contact, but those blue eyes slid away as soon as they met Dean’s. “I - yes, I know who he is.”

“Did you know what world you were sending me to, Cas?”

Cas looked for a moment as though he were debating something and Dean knew he was deciding whether or not to lie. Dean’s own question had given him the perfect opportunity to do so, but Dean decided not to let that happen.

“Let me ask again. Why did you send me to Misha’s living room, Cas? Did you…” Dean hesitated, but then he thought of how those lips - thick pink lips identical to the ones in front of him - had felt beneath his own and he made himself continue. “Did you know that he was gonna kiss me?”

In that moment, Dean had some sort of answer to one of his questions. Because Cas’ eyes flared with anger when Dean said Misha had kissed him. There was definite angel fury there and what other reason for it could there be but jealousy?

“What’s wrong, Cas?” Dean’s eyes and voice were soft. “Are you jealous?” Cas’ face was indignant. He didn’t speak, choosing to turn his pout toward the window instead. “Would it help to know he was pretending to be you at the time?” Dean swallowed, his throat making a dry clicking sound. His heart was pounding in his ears, so loudly he almost didn’t hear himself ask, “Would it help to know I wanted him to be?”

Those blazing blue eyes flew to his then, searching his face for any sign of mockery or deceit. “What do you mean?”

But Dean wasn’t going to be the only one going out on a limb for this. “Nu-uh, Cas. You first. Why did you send me to that world?”

“I thought...I learned about their belief that our...characters were...in-in love. I thought if I sent you there, to that time...maybe you’d see it, too.”

“Why didn’t you just tell me yourself, Cas?”

Cas looked extremely annoyed now, nearly as upset with Dean as the elder Winchester had ever seen him. Still, Dean was unprepared for the tirade that followed the look of annoyance.

“Oh, really, Dean? Like you’d have just listened to me? You’re the king of repressing your feelings and denying yourself the things you want because you think you don’t deserve them. From the moment we met, you thought you were unworthy of me. You didn’t think you deserved to be saved then and you don’t think you deserve to be loved now.”

Dean was somehow at once stunned and unsurprised by the angel’s words. “And you thought going to that world would change that?” he asked quietly.

“I thought...maybe if you were confronted with your feelings - good and bad - by a neutral party, you might be able to accept them. I guess I was wrong. I’ll take you back to the motel now.”

Cas raised a hand, but Dean shouted, “Wait!” and the hand paused in midair. “Cas, you didn’t let me say anything.”

The hand fell to Cas’ lap then and the angel looked slightly less angry. There was something on his face that wasn’t quite hope, almost as though he were afraid to hope, but couldn’t help wanting to. “What do you want to say?”

“You weren’t...hearing it from Misha when he was just Misha, reading my own bullshit on the page...I don’t know if those things helped or not, Cas. But hearing your voice tell me you...you were in...love with me…” He choked on the word, but he managed to get it out. “I wanted so bad...I wanted to say it back, Cas.” The angel’s blue eyes went comically wide at that. “And then I was reading out lines about how I wasn’t worthy and I just...I didn't like hearing that.”

Dean laughed, pain threaded through the sound, as he stared out the windshield into the night. “You know, I hated knowing that someone, some person I’ve never even met, knew my secret thoughts. Knew how broken I am. But you know what? They still thought I should be with you, broken or not. And I realized that if you could feel that way about me, after seeing me in hell...maybe I wasn’t so bad after all.” He looked at Cas then, not even trying to hide the emotions on his face.

 

“I probably would have talked myself out of it, out of letting myself even consider it...but then he kissed me.” He gave Cas a watery smile. “And he had your face, Cas. So when I saw your face and felt that kiss…” Dean drew in a shaky breath and lifted a hand toward Cas, but stalled before actually touching his face. “When we kissed, I realized that...I want there to be an us, Cas...even if I don’t deserve it. I want it more than I’ve wanted anything in a long time.”

“Dean, are you saying that we…” He stopped and just stared at Dean for a long moment, once again searching his face and possibly his soul. Finally, he said, “Oh, to hell with it,” abruptly leaning forward and pressing his lips to Dean’s.

Just as he had in Misha’s apartment, Dean instinctively deepened the kiss, letting his mouth speak for his heart. This time the kiss was even better. Dean hadn’t known the difference between Cas and Misha then, but he did now. Cas was his. Misha had only been pretending.

“Cas,” Dean breathed against the angel’s lips, his real lips this time and not an imitation. His voice was broken and shaky, but he managed to get out the words. “I’m not worthy of you, Cas. I don’t know if I’ll ever be worthy.” He pressed a finger to Cas’ lips when he would have protested. “But I’ll try to be worthy...if you’ll have me.” He drew in a ragged breath. “Cas, I - fuck I can’t say it. Not yet. But you know, don’t you? You know.” His eyes pleaded with Cas for understanding.

Cas drew him closer. “I do know, Dean. And I love you, too.”

  
  



End file.
